Which Type of Competitive Player Are You? Plus 3 Screen-Free Games Everyone Can Enjoy

Game night too intense? Learn which type of competitive player you are—and discover three unplugged games to keep it fun for everyone!

Game night should be fun—but when competition heats up, things can get tense fast. In this excerpt from The Big Book of Family Games by Brad Berger, we take a lighthearted look at the four types of competitive players you’re bound to meet around the table. Whether you’re a rule enforcer, a silent strategist, or just trying to keep the peace, understanding these personalities can make playtime smoother for everyone. Plus, we’re sharing three screen-free games that skip the stress and help the whole family unplug and reconnect.

Warning: This book has 101 ways to distract you and your family and friends from looking at your phones for significant stretches of time.

Who should use this book…

• families,
• friends,
• a group of strangers,
• work associates and colleagues,
• teachers and students,
• sorority sisters,
• fraternity brothers,
• roommates,
• teammates,
• cellmates,
• primates,
• meat eaters,
• vegetarians,
• people from Sweden,
• really skinny basketball players,
• ballroom dancers,
• sumo wrestlers,
• science nerds,
• late-night talk show hosts,
• excessively happy people,
• cheese enthusiasts,
• gargoyles and wizards (with college degrees),
• people named Phil (before it was popular to call your son “Phil”),
• hobbits who can never figure out what to wear,
• people who eat way too much celery,
• zombies who talk behind your back, and…
• the grandchildren of professional bowlers.

For everyone else, just make it a great gift.

The Four Types of Competitive Players

Beware of Overly Competitive Billy

One of the things that has fascinated me when playing all kinds of games with people throughout the years is how quickly you realize a person’s competitive nature. It really doesn’t matter whether you are playing tic-tac-toe or basketball. If someone is ultracompetitive, you will usually figure it out within a few minutes. In the same sense, when someone couldn’t care less about winning or losing, that is quite obvious as well.

All of the games in this book are social games. The fun (for the most part) is all about the journey and much less about who wins the game. Most of the memories are about the things people say and the fun new things you discover about each other. Still, all of the games have rules and it is important to follow them in order for the true experience to be realized. And, of course, there are winners and losers.

However, whenever I get a group of people together and there are people I don’t know, in addition to going over the rules and winning objective, I make absolutely sure to emphasize the true meaning of the game and what kind of approach will make for the best experience. This way, if there are any of what I call “Quadrant Four” competitors, they may end up toning it down once they realize there isn’t a Lifetime Achievement Award for being the only one to figure out whether Uncle Joe’s story was true or false . . . and that nobody will care if they were the only one to not figure it out.

So, who is a “Quadrant Four” competitor? In order to understand those people, we should probably start with “Quadrant One”:

Quadrant One Competitors

These are the least competitive people you will ever meet. When these people are invited to play a game, many of them will actually show up, but that’s mostly because they are just happy to be included. Many times, you’ll notice that Quadrant One competitors have no idea they are even playing a game. They really don’t care about the rules. Often, Quadrant One competitors will get up from the table and leave in the middle of a crucial game moment and come back several minutes later. This isn’t because they are rude people; it’s just that another activity popped into their heads and it was far more interesting at the time.

Although it is difficult to play games with Quadrant Ones, often they are a pleasure to be around because all they want to do is be around everyone else. Still, these people are often looked at by real competitors as having two heads. Few understand them other than perhaps some Quadrant Two competitors, but even Quadrant Twos will scratch their heads in amazement sometimes. How a Quadrant One and a Quadrant Four can even coexist is beyond me. It’s quite amusing to see an actual couple like that. How is it even possible they got together?

Quadrant Two Competitors

A Quadrant Two competitor actually wants to know the rules of the game, unlike the Quadrant Ones. Quadrant Two competitors like playing games and want everyone to have a good time. However, unlike Quadrant One competitors, Quadrant Two competitors are very aware of the Quadrant Threes and Fours. They recognize them right away and will absolutely let them win if they feel winning is more important to them—which, of course, it always is. I love playing with Quadrant Twos—and that’s not because they will let a Three like me win, but because they are simply never going to cross the line and aren’t going to lose focus either.

Quadrant Three Competitors

Unless you are a baby, a Quadrant Three competitor won’t let you win. Simple as that. These are highly competitive people who give 100 percent every time, unlike the Quadrant Two competitors who fluctuate between seventy and ninety percent and the Quadrant Ones who don’t even know what I’m talking about. Quadrant Three competitors will play as hard at Scrabble as they play rugby or football.

Quadrant Three competitors like to play mostly with other Quadrant Three competitors. This is really the best scenario for a Quadrant Three—everyone playing hard, no nonsense, and no letting anyone win. The Threes do get along with the Twos, but get very frustrated with the Ones and Fours. Win or lose, when the game is over, a Quadrant Three competitor will get over it and move on pretty quickly—usually within five minutes. Quadrant Threes won’t complain too much about losing and won’t boast too much when they win.

Quadrant Four Competitors

Finally, we have our Quadrant Fours, the group this guide is really all about.

If you are a Quadrant Four and you’re still reading this, don’t worry, we still love you, but there’s probably little hope for you.

So, what’s the best way to describe a Quadrant Four?

A Quadrant Four is a mixed bag of goodies. Have you ever experienced a moment where you tell a group of people, “We’re all going to play a new game,” and one person starts to break out into a full sweat? Almost definitely a Quadrant Four. He’s wondering if there’s a chance he can lose at whatever is about to be announced, and that would be a total disaster in the life of a Quadrant Four.

For a Quadrant Four, a loss is pretty much equivalent to the world coming to an end.

Many times, a Quadrant Four will decline to even play a game because he knows himself and also knows the experience will be awful for everyone. As opposed to Quadrant Ones leaving the table randomly at a crucial moment in a game without even realizing it, you can often pinpoint the exact moment a Quadrant Four is about to disappear by recognizing the look on his face when he realizes there’s a good chance he can’t win. Rather than sticking around for everyone to see it, he’ll just slip away unannounced and never come back. The great irony is that although Quadrant Ones and Fours are from two different planets, at times they will be forced to hang out with each other while the Twos and Threes finish the game.

Some Quadrant Fours will actually cheat if they are out of winning options. Other Quadrant Fours will cause a distraction just to take the focus off of whatever it is they are embarrassed about. As can be expected, many people are hesitant to play games with Quadrant Four competitors, with the possible exception of Quadrant Three competitors, who will gain the most satisfaction out of beating them and are often more willing to take the risk of getting beaten and hearing about it for years to come.

Unlike a Quadrant Three who knows when a Quadrant Two is letting her win, a Quadrant Four has no idea when a Quadrant Two is handing him the victory, because that kind of behavior doesn’t compute. To a Quadrant Four, everyone is playing their hardest when he is winning, which makes him the best at whatever it is. He’s the greatest and he’ll make sure nobody forgets it.

So, which one are you?

When I speak about this with people, there’s almost always an admission of where they belong. Sometimes people like to say they cross over the different quadrants from time to time. That’s perfectly fair. Some things are certain, however: A Quadrant One will typically never be anything else. Twos and Threes may flirt with each other. Threes may cross over to the dark side from time to time, and as for the Fours, well . . . they simply require a lot of tender loving care.

In the end, I find playing games with people of all competitive Quadrants incredibly interesting, and at times quite humorous when they are all playing together. As long as you’re aware of who you’re dealing with and can laugh it off, any group of people can come together and have fun.

3 Unplugged Games That Everyone Will Love

1. Bucket List

3+ players

You’ll need paper and something to write with

How well do you know the dreams of the players in your group?

Preparation:

Each player thinks of three bucket list items. These are things they haven’t accomplished in their life but definitely want to do at some point. For example, common bucket list items for people might be: Sky Diving, South African Safari, See the Northern Lights, Run a Marathon, See the Great Wall of China, Learn to Play an Instrument, and so on. Players write down three items that are definitely on their list. Now each player also must come up with three bucket list items that are not on their list, but could definitely be on the lists of many other people. In the end, every player has a list of six bucket list items, three that are real items and three that are not.

Note: You don’t want every one of your real bucket list items to be very obvious, and you want the three fake items to be thought of as a real potential for you when they are actually things you have no true desire to do. You must, however, be honest about your items.

Objective:

To figure out which three items are the real bucket list items for each player in the game for maximum points.

Game Time:

Player 1 goes first and announces her six bucket list items in no particular order. Every other player writes them down and now has to figure out which are the three real bucket list items of Player 1. No talking after Player 1 announces her items; two minutes on the clock. Each player writes what he thinks are the three real items for Player 1 on a card or piece of paper and places it face-down in front of him.

Player 1 now circles her three true bucket list items on her card or paper and places it face-down in front of her. Each player (except Player 1) now passes his card to the player to his right with his name on it so that player can read his answers and score his card. Skip Player 1 in this process. Each player will now read the guesses of the player whose card they have. Player 1 will not comment. Once all cards have been read, Player 1 will reveal her answers.

Scoring:

Figure out all three bucket list items and you get 50 points. Two items gets you 25 points. One item gets you 5 points. If you get them all wrong, you lose 25 points! (The player who created the list gets no points in this game.)

Next:

Player 2 announces his six bucket list items, and round two begins.

2. I’m Great at That

4+ players

You’ll need a paper and something to write with

Revealing your hidden talents

Preparation:

Each player comes up with five things she is almost certain either nobody in the group is really great at, or that nobody in the group would ever brag about being great at. For example, you can submit normal things such as skiing, playing chess, or doing cartwheels, or you can submit silly or fun things, such as eating cake, writing the letter “C,” playing with dirt, or juggling one banana. The sillier things tend to be more fun in this game. Either way, they can’t be things you know you are good at (or anyone else in the group, for that matter). Players write the five items on separate pieces of paper and mix them in a hat or on the table with all the others.

Objective:

Players must be the most convincing about their greatness in the skill they randomly select from the pile for most points.

Game Time:

Player 1 goes first and randomly selects an item from the pile. If it is something Player 1 submitted, she must put it back and pick again. In fewer than ten seconds, she must begin to make her case for how great she is at this skill. Player 1 wants to be as convincing as possible and really sell her greatness! She has sixty seconds. Next, Player 2 picks a random item and does the same. Every player repeats this process. Players don’t have to take the full sixty seconds, but the more convincing arguments may take some time, especially for things that one wouldn’t normally hear anyone brag about.

Scoring:

Once the last person argues his greatness, everyone votes for the two people they feel made the best arguments for the skills they selected. Each player votes for two other players. You cannot vote for your own. Write the two names on a piece of paper and give it to Player 1. Player 1 will tally the votes. Each player receives 1 point per vote. Play as many rounds as you like and declare a winner.

3. Don’t Tell Frank He’s Going Bald

3+ players

You’ll need paper and something to write with

Hangman with personality

Preparation:

Each player puts together a five- to seven-word sentence about someone else in the game without revealing the sentence to the other players.

The sentence can be about anyone and doesn’t have to be a true statement.

Objective:

Players attempt to be the first to guess the sentence.

Game Time:

Player 1 begins by telling the other players how many words are in his sentence and how many letters are in each word. On their own sheets of paper, the other players draw blanks representing the letters in each word of the sentence. Then everyone places numbers under each blank from left to right, starting with 1 as the first letter of the first word, 2 as the second letter of the first word, and so on. (Spaces and punctuation don’t count.) If there are only three letters in the first word, then the number 4 would be the first letter of the second word, and so on.

The phrase “Don’t tell Frank he’s going bald” would look like this:

_ _ _ ’ _ / _ _ _ _ / _ _ _ _ _ / _ _ ’ _ / _ _ _ _ _ / _ _ _ _

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

Players take turns asking Player 1 to fill in a specific letter. If Player 2 begins by selecting “N,” Player 1 would then tell everyone where the letter “N” goes. In the example, Player 1 would say, “‘N’ goes above the numbers 3, 12, and 20.” If Player 3 then asks for the letter “A,” Player 1 would then say, “‘A’ goes in slots 11 and 23.”

Players take turns asking for a letter until one player shouts out the correct sentence and wins the round. If a player shouts out the wrong sentence, that player is out of the round and has no more guesses.

Player 2 goes next, sharing the number of words in her sentence and the number of letters in each word, and so on.

Scoring:

A player wins one point for every phrase he guesses correctly. The person with the most correct guesses after everyone takes a turn with his phrase, wins.

Discover More Games That Help You Unplug

^{Excerpt from The Big Book of Family Games by Brad Berger.}