3 Scoops of Funny Advice for a Bad Day (and the Flavors to Match)

Turn that rocky road into a sundae! Get a taste of the book “Bad Day Ice Cream” with funny advice for a bad day, tongue-in-cheek tips, and the perfect frozen pairings.

If your day currently feels like a dumpster fire, don’t try to extinguish it. As Christopher Robbins, founder and CEO of Familius, always says, “If you’re having a bad day, you might as well enjoy it.” It’s the emotional equivalent of eating a double scoop while the ship goes down—and honestly, the view is better with sprinkles.

Life is going to serve you “rocky road” whether you asked for it or not. So, instead of fighting the inevitable, here is some funny advice for a bad day from the book Bad Day Ice Cream by Barbara Beery. Think of it as commiseration with a side of dairy—because if you’re going to be miserable, you might as well let the brain freeze distract you.

3 Types of Bad Days and Our Sweet Prescription

Bad Day No. 1: Overwhelmed, Overstimulated, and Under Siege!

Road trips, birthday parties, conferences, company-wide meetings, or summer vacations with the kids.

These things can be fun. And you like fun. But then the fun is just too much!

The sounds and colors and movement in the world make you want to scream. But you can’t scream, even for ice cream, because it would only add to the noise pollution.

You want noise-canceling headphones and a space suit, or to sit at the bottom of a deserted swimming pool with your eyes closed.

No more jostling in crowded elevators. No more people asking whether you’re done yet or if they can have a Popsicle or if you’ve seen their shoes or if you would turn up the AC.

Stop. Take a breath, find a quiet place, and chill out with the ice cream that all other ice creams aspire to be: Vanilla. It’s mature. It’s classy. It’s blessedly simple. Think of it as your own personal sensory deprivation chamber in a bowl. Boring never tasted so good.

And if you want to hide in the broom closet wearing ear plugs while you eat it, who are we to judge?

The Cure: Chill-Out Vanilla Ice Cream

Ingredients

• 2 cups heavy whipping cream
• 2 cups whole milk
• ¾ cup sugar
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• Pinch of salt

Directions

1. In a large bowl, whisk together all ingredients until the sugar is dissolved and (if using) vanilla bean paste is incorporated.
2. Carefully pour ice cream base into a 1-gallon zip-close freezer bag and seal securely. Lay flat in the freezer for at least 2 hours or until ready to use.
3. When the mixture is frozen, you have three options:
   • Remove from freezer and crumble into frozen ice cream pieces. Eat immediately.
   • Remove from freezer and crumble. Blend in a food processor until creamy and smooth—soft serve ice cream at its finest!
   • Remove from freezer and crumble. Blend in a food processor until creamy and smooth. Pour the mixture into a freezer-safe storage container and freeze until firm, about 2 hours. Remove from freezer 10 minutes before serving.

Bad Day No. 2: Foot in Mouth

“Did I really just say that!?”

It’s not always easy to think before you speak, but if you’re like us, you’ve spent hours of your life thinking after you’ve spoken—obsessing, even.

Words are so powerful and can do endless good. They can also hurt, shame, or embarrass. If you’re feeling sad today because you’ve said something you regret, come up with a plan to fix it.

If there’s no good way to take back what you said without causing more damage, you may just need to suck it up and move on. You’ll do better next time, right?

Putting your foot in your mouth is no fun. So, remove your foot and insert a spoonful of No-Regrets Peanut Butter Ice Cream. The gooey, chewy peanut butter will keep your mouth so busy you won’t be able to relapse.

The Cure: No-Regrets Peanut Butter Ice Cream

Ingredients

• 1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
• ½ cup creamy peanut butter
• 2 cups heavy whipping cream, whipped
• 1 bag (8 ounces) Reese’s Mini Peanut Butter cups, sliced in half
• 1 cup marshmallow cream, purchased or homemade (try our Optimistic Marshmallow Sauce on page 117)
• Shake-It-Off Strawberry Sauce (page 111)

Directions

1. In a large bowl, whisk together the sweetened condensed milk and peanut butter.
2. Gently stir the whipped cream into the peanut butter mixture, then fold in peanut butter cups.
3. Pour half the mixture into a freezer-safe bowl. Drop half the marshmallow cream on top and swirl with a knife.
4. Spoon the rest of the peanut butter mixture on top and top with the remaining marshmallow cream. Freeze for 2–3 hours or overnight.
5. Scoop into bowls and serve with Shake-It-Off Strawberry Sauce.

Bad Day No. 3: Terrible News

Is the news real? Is it fake? All you know is that it sucks.

Maybe your mom left a message on your voice mail that simply said, “Call me,” in that voice that never means, “Call me because I just found the cutest pink slippers at Ross!”

Or maybe you’ve spent too many hours watching news coverage of the latest celebrity breakup. Not Liam and Taylor! I thought they had a forever love!

Nearly every one of us remembers getting news that rocked our world. Whether you’re feeling shocked, disheartened, or unsure how life will ever be the same, bad news is never a good thing—hence the name.

As you come to terms with what you’ve just heard, you may need to move on to another flavor of ice cream. S’mores Ice Cream Sandwiches? You’ve Been Dumped Ice Cream? Family Drama Bananarama “Nice” Cream?

But for today? The day the bomb is dropped? Bad News Berries Sherbet will get the job done. It’s sweet to drown out the bitter. It’s light to remove some of the heaviness you’re feeling. And it’s way easy, so you can spend your energy coming up with a plan for what to do next.

The Cure: Bad News Berries Sherbet

Ingredients

• 3 cups frozen raspberries, strawberries, or blueberries
• ¼ cup fat-free condensed milk, or regular condensed milk for a richer sherbet
• Fresh berries, for garnish
• Mint, for garnish

Directions

1. Garnish with fresh berries and a sprig of mint.
2. Combine the berries and the condensed milk in a food processor or powerful blender and process until smooth and creamy.
3. Transfer to an airtight container and freeze for 4 hours. If not scoopable after 4 hours, return to freezer for another hour.

Discover More Sweet Commiseration in the Book

^{Excerpt from Bad Day Ice Cream by Barbara Beery.}