“I apologize once. I’m not going to chase after them to apologize again.” This sentiment was expressed by a middle school boy. He added, “I don’t deal with drama.”

Mrs. Randall, “Is it bad manners when a person doesn’t accept an apology?”  My response, “no.” A person does not have to accept your apology.

There are people who have a melodramatic flair when it comes to dealing with life’s dilemmas. Like requiring a little begging and groveling to help them “get over a peccadillo”.  Semi-understandable behavior if you’re in junior high school!

For some forgiveness isn’t always immediate. Sadly, sometimes, never. But it does not mean that you must apologize seventeen more times. I advise two; in case they didn’t hear you or they just weren’t ready to hear it. After that, step away and allow the person time to get through it (their way).

What is your apology process?

___If it’s sincere, and we’ve cleared the air, I forgive and forget.

___To make a point, I make them squirm for a few hours before accepting it.

___If the apology doesn’t include a bouquet of my favorite flowers, no deal!

___I’ll accept it, but I’m not gonna forget it.

___I need a little time alone to cool off, and then I’m ready to accept it and move on.

___It depends on who it is and what the infraction was.

In the workplace:  No drama please. You’ve got to put on your big-boy underwear and handle it tactfully, respectfully, privately, and with a little humility.

In the home:  A splash of drama is okay; they’ll still love you. If you have little eyes gazing up at you, or a teen who is waiting to catch you doing something opposite of what you tell them to do, yikes!  Time to re-evaluate the apology/forgiveness process.

“A good memory is fine—but the ability to forget is the true test of greatness.” –unknown

 

Rosalinda Oropeza Randall, born in Los Angeles, California, is a modern-day expert on tact and civility. She naturally eased into the field of etiquette due to her upbringing. Not a "finger bowl" lifestyle, but one filled with courtesy, tact, humilit... Read More




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