My husband Trent was hoping for a honeymoon baby. He told me so a few months before we got married. Even when I first met him at age eighteen, he talked about starting a family and how much he wanted to be a father. At thirteen years old, he decided to be a dentist because he wanted to both be able to provide for his family and spend lots of time with them. People always imply that the woman most looks forward to having children, but as much as I long to be a mother, I feel sure that Trent has been yearning for them even more. When the doctor told us we might never have biological children, I was looking right at Trent’s face. I once saw a still-frame photograph of a breaking vase the moment before it shattered. That was what Trent’s face looked like.
Trent could have reacted in many different ways—could have shown his devastation through anger, apathy, or even complete withdrawal. While there were days I worried for him, and though the heartache did have marked effects, Trent continued forward with his goals. He worked toward the job he hoped would one day support a large family, he went fearlessly forward with me as we sought different treatment options for our infertility, and he never stopped being kind to friends and family. As another childless Father’s Day approaches, I think about all the things Trent is doing for our family, all his work, all his care, and all his hope. I can’t help but think that even though our children aren’t yet here, Trent is an amazing father.